And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
