so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
