and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
