It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize