I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
