How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
