TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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