i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
