I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
