And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
