Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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