I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
