check it out our google latitudes are spooning
What did we do last night that was yellow?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
