aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
