why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
