if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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