I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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