Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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