we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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