Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
