Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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