Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
