you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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