I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
