just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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