So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
