this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
