it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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