Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
