Buhtt sex?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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