Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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