remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so explain again why im purple
no
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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