I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
