Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
