These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
