All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
