Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
