Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
