He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
