discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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