Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
