I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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