I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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