please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
