Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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