just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
