dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
