i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
