Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
