perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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