We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
