It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
